Rode Hard And Put Up Wet

So the garage sale went quite well. We earned enough to get Bella’s surgery paid for. The wife will call Tuesday, after the holiday, and make her appointment. Hopefully by next weekend all will be at peace.

The boy child is out of his meds at the moment. This is actually worse than me being out of mine. He’s UBER hyped up and can NOT relax. And though the girl child was out there most of the day with us helping with the garage sale, she is extra hyped up too. Is it just a Saturday thing? Is it just a kid thing? Am I really this old? Its kind sad that we (the wife, the girl child and I) are watching the Cosby Show and she girl child is older than Rudy who is roughly a year older than me! Nevertheless, we all enjoyed it. I love going down memory lane through TV land with the wife. And it made me realize something. I actually have what I’ve always wanted. I’m living the Cosby Show. I’ve always wanted a relationship like Clair and Cliff have and I have it now. I’ve always wanted those moments of playing and goofing off with the kiddos and I have it now. I like seeing Cliff do or say something and KNOWING my wife thinks “OMG! That’s Kody!” and that it is, actually, what I would do or say.

Ok. So back to the In-Laws. Another morning of running around with her father putting up signs hearing ‘a better way’ I could have done this or that. And then the day spent with her mom. Now her mom really did help out a LOT at the sale, I’ll give her that. But both of her parents are having a difficult time acknowledging me as their daughter’s partner. They wanted my wife to go to their church for a family friend’s baptism with the kiddos…..without me. Now normally this would be a Sunday with the kiddos here with us and not at their dad’s. We would normally go to our church together. We weren’t planning on going due to our tired and sore asses recovering from the garage sale and due to an overdue party at a couple’s house that has a pool. The kids have been pleading to go swimming lately. I have volunteered to be lifeguard to all the kids there. The issue? I’m not a man. Truth is if I was in uniform with a steady job and had a dick between my legs they would like me more. I don’t dare tell them what I think. BOTH my mommas raised me better than that! But I’m still sitting there doing my damdest to please them. When I heard that I was done. DONE! D.O.N.E. No more! I usually have a ‘take me as I am or fuck off’ attitude but because they are her parents I’ve been trying my hardest to show them the type of person I really am, that I truly love my wife, that I’m not going to hurt her (her mother sitting up nights crying and worrying that I’m going to kill them in their sleep because I’m bipolar is a WHOLE ‘nother can of worms!), that I’m here as a part of the family and I do everything in my power to keep them safe. But they don’t know how to or just plain don’t want to see me that way. So I give up trying to impress them. I have a GREAT mom and dad (and a spare mom) that love me and care for me and are proud of me. So why do I try so hard and waste so much energy on these people? I guess I just love my wife so much I was thinking that if they just accepted me, they would treat her and us better. My wife’s told me a hundred times ‘that’s just the way they are’ but I guess I didn’t believe it. I just had to see it for myself.

I guess the blessing here is that my mom loves my wife and the kids. And my dad has warmed up to her and acknowledged her more than any of my past relationships. I am grateful for that. Maybe that’s the lesson here. Be grateful for what you have. And I am. For the fur-babies, for the kiddos, for my wife, for my family, and for my God, I am thankful.

Medication time! Don’t forget to take yours!