Blindsided by the best. I'm single but as of this moment, i got this

so I couldn't sleep last night. I had something gnawing at me. so when the Ex came in and kissed me goodnight I could feel a difference. I had signs leading up to today for weeks now but I guess I was just trying so hard to come out of the depression that I didn't wanna see.
I got a badass job that makes decent money. I just filled out the paperwork yesterday and met with the boss and my trainer. had a good time. filled out hundreds of pages where-in I wrote my address at least a dozen times. I came home and I was stoked! I had a huge headache when I got home and she wouldn't let me lay on her. I tried to hold her hand and after 30 seconds she "adjusted" so I couldn't hold her hand. I leaned over to kiss her and something felt different. I told her I loved her and adored her and that I missed her. see? this was the second time i'd said I missed her and BAM! no response. so I wrote her this long ass love note saying that I finally feel like myself and I can't wait to continue down this path of life with her and "our" kids. I got the boy up for school, made their breakfast, and waited till they got off to school. I left the love note on the donut box where she could see it. when she got back I told her about it. she asked if she could read it outside. I waited for her to come back in. she didn't. I went out there and that's when it happed. it was all so fast. she talked to my "mamma" cause I thought that might help. it did. it helped her decide. I asked her if she wanted to break up with me.
She said Yes.



so here's where I gasp for breath and keep my feet under me. called pops and he's getting me a bed and a tv. told mom and she's ready and waiting. called back "mamma" myself and let her know where my head's at. so i'm currently ok. as of 11:19 AM I am ok. I've slept 3 hours in the past 48 hours. I've taken my 'calm down meds'. I think i'm gonna be ok. oh, and i'm wearing my Kidd Kraddick shirt that the ex shrunk in the dryer.

life as I know it is about to change again. sit down. shut up. hold on. this is gonna be one hell of a ride.